while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
