omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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