She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
