Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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