That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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