stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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