We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
