The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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