Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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