if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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