Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
