Duck Duck Cougar?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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