JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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