In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
there is glitter all over my balls
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
