Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
