I didn't shave. On purpose
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Randomize
