i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
