thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize