So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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