I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
