he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
meet me or not, i'm out of control
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
