? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
