the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
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We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
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The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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