Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
