I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I need a burrito and a hug.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
