Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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