I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Your penis caused this!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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