Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
