That's intense
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
