super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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