You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Your penis caused this!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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