Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
