I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize