Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
