dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
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You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
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Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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