I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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