Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
