Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
