why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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