he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
