What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
