I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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