This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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