when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
