You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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