I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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