yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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