Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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