I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
