party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Small penises have feelings too.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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