I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
All the doctor said was why
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
