Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
