ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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