I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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