she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
