I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
