We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
