The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
