I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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