Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
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New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
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I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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