This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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