didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
