It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
