Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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