i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
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Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Come on in and take your pants off
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