doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
