you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
