Who wears a wallet chain?!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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